Ease creates, urgency destroys.
Ease is freedom from inner haste or pressure. These words from Nancy Kline’s book More Time to Think came back to me recently.
I was facilitating a group conversation with nine IT specialists. I came in with an agenda and a goal to achieve. As we moved forward, a presentation for the company’s CEO was taking shape—I had a clear recipe and timeline in my mind. The team got deeply engaged in debate, questioning each other’s views and diving into details. It was beautiful.
But as the day drew to a close, we were only halfway through. I felt a rising sense of urgency inside me. In my mind, they were moving far too slowly. I began sending subtle (or not-so-subtle) signals like: “Come on, can we wrap up this item? We still have three more to go, and time is running out.”
When they finally finished that point, I asked them how they thought things were going (half-hoping they’d say: “too slow”). But their answer surprised me:
“This is the best conversation we’ve had in years. We’ve learned so much about what each of us does and how we do it. We really needed this.”
Wow. My thought was: “Okay then, let them keep going.”
That’s when Nancy Kline’s words came back to me. I realized I was the one with the problem, not them. I relaxed, started simply observing and listening. I let go of my expectations about the schedule and trusted we’d find a way to finish on time.
The next morning, I redesigned day two of the workshop and we started an hour earlier. Five minutes before the CEO arrived, the team had their presentation ready (and yes, we even had time for a lunch break 😊).
It’s one thing to know something intellectually. It’s another to truly experience it. This was a beautiful lesson I’ll remember for a long time. Ease helps bring out people’s best thinking. It helps create meaningful conversations and relationships.
I went home grateful to this team for teaching me a lesson in ease. It’s an extraordinary gift to work in a profession that allows me to learn and grow every single day.